What Water?

I had this whole other thing planned for today, but something funny happened this morning, and I feel that I must share it. (Seriously, as this thing happened I kept thinking to myself, “At least this could prove to be blog worthy.”)

Okay, so this morning, I get up, make coffee, drink coffee and set out on my typical run, as I do most days. Today was a little different, as I had a few errands to do, and I decided to combine them. So, I take care of business, head home, take a quick, quick shower, then get out and get dressed. This is a usual morning for me, whether it happens at six a. m. or ten a.m. Here’s where things got a little trippy.

I’ve been neglecting the laundry this week, so as you can imagine, the mountain of dirty clothes was staggering. I contemplated just buying new underwear, but decided to do the adult thing and wash clothes. I tried to clean them with the power of my mind, which is always the first option, despite its terrible track record. I still remain hopeful. Well, that didn’t work, so I grabbed the basket and headed down stairs.

I get down stairs and turn on the machine, and there’s nothing. Nothing, just a humming. This is when my world starts to go a little black around the edges. I wonder how much it would cost to fix, or if a new one would just be better. I panic, thinking about the expense, and then start to think about the nearest laundry mat, both of which are about two miles away. Then I picture myself loading up the little red wagon with laundry bags and then sacrificing my entire quarter collection to keep this family in clean underwear. This looks to be about as fun as cleaning out the zoo’s ape cage with my tongue, so I turn back to the washing machine. I thump it Fonzie style for a  while, and I’m able to get a trickle out of it. I bang on the sides, the top, the lid, I fuss with the spout that the water comes out of — nothing. I try it on different settings, still nothing. I jiggle the dusty black hose that pipes the water in, nothing. All I’m getting is a trickle of some slightly brown, chlorine smelling water. (Granted, the water here always smells like chlorine.)

I feel sick to my stomach, so I head into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I turn on the water, and I get just a trickle. Okay, I don’t know if this just got better or worse, but still, it’s progress. I head up to the bathroom, trying to see if this is just a downstairs thing, or if this is all over the house. Yup, it’s all over the house — the no water thing.

Okay, by this point I was starting to freak out. Yes, if there wasn’t any water in the house that probably is the city’s fault and wouldn’t cost anything to fix, but it still would be a huge, huge hassle and in the meantime, I still don’t have any water.

There really is only one thing left to do, and that is called the basement. I hate our basement. I loathe it, I can’t stand it. The ceiling is around 4.5 feet, so I’m forever hitting my head. It is poorly lit, filled with bugs and spiders, and it always really freaks me out to see all those wires against the wood, I don’t know why. I head down there to make sure I pipe hasn’t burst or something, even though that really would give us all an excuse to start over from scratch. There is nothing down there. Nothing, it just looks like a normal basement. Dark, dank, dirty and filled with spiders, but there are not gallons of water pouring from a pipe. The little valve looked normal, so I went back up, all puzzled.

I went back to the sink and tried it again. And there is was, all the cold, clear water that a person could want. The washer filled up in the usual time. Shower, take as long a one as you want. The toilet, flush it all you want. What the hell?

I walked around the house for a while, contemplating this. I wondered what could have caused that, was it just a fluke or something. I know this has been a bit of a dry spring, but common? Is that global warming running out of water thing happening sooner than I thought it would? (I thought I had a few years at least)

I see a bunch of water cascading down the street in front of my house. Actually, it is just wet, but you could tell that there had been a bunch of water there recently. I step outside and see a city truck. I step farther and then see some men standing by the fire hydrant with some very fearsome wrenches. They are flushing the damn fire hydrants. I feel stupid. I sit down and drink coffee and knit for a few minutes to make myself feel better, and it works.


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