I’m Getting tired of this

Dear Elizabeth,

I’m very sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that and I know that it was wrong. I know that jumping up and down on my rib warmer wasn’t going to help anything, but it did make me feel better, so at least I was able to accomplish something.  That remark about your mother was very callous, and I’m terribly sorry.

I knew all along that something was odd with this ribwarmer. Or maybe not, let’s face it Elizabeth dear, you may be a brilliant knitter, but you’re not noted for being, um, clear when it comes to direction. Fine, you’re clear as mud, which is something that I usually love about you. That much wiggle room means that it’s hard to get board while knitting one of your patterns. However, when I have little clue what I’m making (you said, “blindly follow, so I did, just like the sheep whose wool I was knitting) I need to have a little bit more direction. Would it kill you to actually tell me what to do?(I probably shouldn’t have used that phrasing because you are dead, sorry.)

I thought that I was doing it right till I got to the end. I’d been following your “directions” and with the help of that clever little drawing that you provided I felt that I was doing a pretty good job I was knitting it exactly the way that you said too.

I knit both pieces that way, making the second side a mirror image to the neck would come together right. I knew that was right.

But then when it comes to sewing the pieces together that’s when things got all funny. And I’m still not sure that I did that right. I think I may have sewn up the shoulders backwards, making the front the back and vise versa. But I can live with it. No, I can’t. I just looked in the mirror and realized that. I can’t live with that. I need to fix it as best that I can.

This wouldn’t be an issue if you provide some more detailed sewing up instructions. To Quote: “Sew shoulder-seems, and beginning tabs to neck back.” That’s about it. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Did I miss that day in Knitter School?

Elizabeth, I expect better from you. I’m starting to get a little tired of this.

I’m fixing it now. I can’t live with it. I know that. Wish me luck. I’ll need it.

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